In May I wrote a post called Suggestion Restriction. Here is a paragraph from it:
My friend Susan Peterson has come up with a self-imposed curfew for the temptation to give advice. She calls it “24-hour suggestion restriction.” For a whole day she will not make suggestions to her family and friends. This includes everything: no back-seat driving, no fashion hints, no “Why don’t you_____.” I’ve tried it. Keeping my mouth shut about another person’s behavior or life for a whole day is no easy feat. I become aware of how often I put in my two cents.
Suggestion Restriction is a first step in letting other people live their own lives and make their own decisions. It’s not easy, but I’ve complied with Suggestion Restriction for several 24 hours, maybe even one 24/7. What I find way harder is not even thinking about the right advice for someone else. I might manage to keep my suggestions to myself, but if I’m still thinking about how other people should fix their lives, I’m practicing arrogance. I’m exercising verbal restraint, but still messing with lives which are not mine to live.
The Message translates the disturbing passage from Matthew 7:3-4 in an even more disturbing way: “It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt?” Maybe I can withhold suggestions for a day or two, but does the expression on my face speak paragraphs? The sometimes ugly sneer on my face is a caught-in-the-act admission of what’s going on in my head. A face distorted by contempt is not a pretty sight. I know; I’ve occasionally caught a glimpse of it in the mirror.
